For the sake of convenience, I had placed my half-full tea cup on the couch when I decided to play the “catch my hand” game with my cat. I am now sitting on the couch with a wet ass because the cup is now empty. Theoretically, my cup would have fit on the table as well, but something in me thought it was a great idea to put it on the couch.
Still, after fifteen minutes, I decided to sit on another part of the couch. After arranging my mikado of cables from my laptop, mobile phone, I thought I could finally start with my headache assignment: thesis. I was settled all over again on the couch with the laptop on my lap, the sun shining on exactly half of my head. As a result, I had to continue typing with my head at a 45 degree angle. Whatever. Life isn’t all roses.
Unfortunately, my cat didn’t understand that my entertainment desk was closed for the day, so he started entertaining himself, making me the center of attention (aka teeth in meat and using my arms as a scratching post). So you see, I want to, but I’m plagued by outside factors. Fortunately, after an hour, my cat found distraction in the other side of the house.
How happy I will be when I finish my studies. At the same time, I am afraid of an emptiness. That emptiness someone else would describe as peace, but I can’t see it that way yet. My mind knows that by then enough changes will have taken place and there will be no emptiness. I have come to realize that I am afraid of standing still in life, that I would like to continue to develop my life. That in itself is nothing crazy, but it is also good to “just live” without that urge to develop being so prominent. Being content with where you are and not having to do everything at a breakneck pace. It will take some getting used to. I think this uncertainty suits this moment in my life. From working and studying to working and enjoying life even more. Chasing other dreams.
To return to my point in a previous post, doing things that energize you. This week that includes baking a cake, walking outside and working on my website. Relatively small things, because I am also busy with my studies. Small things that make me very happy. What are you doing this week that makes you happy?