Wild nights and curtain bangs

The temperatures in the Netherlands rose above 20 again and my body was in a state of decomposition in no time. Throbbing armpits, sweating upper lip and a warm hairdo on my neck. In the park, everyone was already picnicking and tonguing with each other again, and Harry and Oliver were already enjoying themselves in Dad’s boat. The student unions were loud and drank beers with bottles and all. My head melted with the mouth mask in the supermarket, and of course I had again chosen the wrong row at the checkout. The couple in front of me went to add up 35 euros in change, but the speed of the counting was at praimairy school level. Of course, I try not to be bothered by this, but had briefly counted it at home. By now the decomposition of my face was full on with that patch on my face while they were recounting.

Like a squirrel eating beechnuts, I’m eating Easter eggs on the couch. Never get those strands the last few years, because otherwise I’m back to being diabetic on Easter. You really know you’re getting old when you say we’re “almost into April already.” I really am getting old. In October I went to the hairdresser for the last time, luckily I can go again next month. In the meantime, I have gotten the looks of Ozzy Osbourne. Just his hair, not the rest. I am thinking of getting curtain bangs, only I am afraid I will get a horse’s head. Or that the bangs will go in all directions except the right one. I could always go for a mullet. No, just kidding. Otherwise the ’70s will be calling to ask if they can have their hair back.

Throbbing armpits, sweating upper lip and a warm hairdo on my neck

I had a qualitatively extremely disappointing night last night. I woke up constantly and was awake from 4 am. I had gone out to dinner with my ex mother-in-law and her twin sister (who are now in a relationship). A plate of spaghetti had been put on our table, but we hadn’t ordered it. They ate half together, but then it turned out that it was for another table. They wanted us to pay the bill in three, because I received a lot of money from a celeb on my bank account. Fine, I’m happy to pay my own share if they want me to. After that we went to a theater performance, which was terrible. I was standing in the way of the actors the whole time, so I had to move quickly before they got angry. Finally, I was involved in the play by a stage actor. I heard people talking behind my back “oh she has asked if she can join”. Which of course was not the case at all. At the end of the play the actor took a bow, and said “we’ll be in touch about the training”. Now you may be thinking, what good drug trip or psychosis are you in, but no this was my dream. This is the average level of my dreams. Well, let’s hope for a good night where I don’t go out to dinner with a love couple consisting of two lesbian sisters. Yes, it could be a little less shocking.


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