Buon pomeriggio a tutti, good afternoon everyone. Here I am again, with the focus of a winter carrot. Sometimes you have those days that you forget everything, today I had one of those. I even managed to forget what I had forgotten within a second. Possibly because my nights are still not exactly calm. From amputated legs to visits to the hair architect (always dreaming that my hair is being cut off), I experience it all at night in bed. Surely I would have expected a different kind of exciting nights at this age ten years ago. Oh well, at least it hasn’t been predictable, that’s worth something too huh?
It was also time for shopping. This has become the evenement of the week now that I am studying a lot. I have practically studied my head from my torso. For lunch I was in the mood for a croissant, so had decided to go to the supermarket. Once I got to the bread department, there was a man with his self-scanning device scanning the barcode, but basically breathing with his head on the croissants. From a distance I could also see that it was not really breathing as we humans generally do, but heavy breathing. Never mind, I thought. I observed the man again, because I really wanted a croissant. But no, it wasn’t exactly someone I thought with “you can breathe on my croissants”.
At one point, a kind of Bertha walked in front of me. Or walked, sort of a slow motion crawl. She was reading her list of groceries. I walked past Bertha to the line at the checkout. When the woman in front of me had that basket empty, she put her basket without wheels, in the baskets with wheels. I wonder then, can’t you see that? That it has a different shape and so on, one has wheels and the other doesn’t? It reminded me of what Ronald Goedemondt once said in his comedyshow about children who try to put a square block through a round hole. Afterwards Ronald said “it’s those kind of children who later grow up to be women”. Well, indeed Ronald. It was not exactly sympathetic of the woman, because now I first had to put her basket in the right place so I could put my own basket. Her head turned into a big question mark when she saw what I was doing. Well, ma’am, even with my mathematical acumen I saw that it was a different shape. It’s those little things hey, that you do for each other. Or not do. And in the end, who cares? I just find people’s behavior weird.
Before I left home, I didn’t know I was going to do the tour l’impatience, but the impatience in our world is unprecedented. I have angelic patience, it saves you from so many unpleasant emotions. Being impatient is really a very annoying way to live. The woman behind me was pushing my groceries so she could put her groceries down. Does it matter to me? No. Was it laughable? Yes, very. The accidents I’ve had were because people were impatient. Passing something quickly in traffic, or people who spontaneously start to walk fast so they can get in front of you in the checkout line. Take it easy, man.
Often I forget to buy some snacks for myself, and come home with only healthy food. Usually it’s the other way around with people, I’m not exactly sure why it’s like that with me either. But, this time I didn’t forget. Bonbons, but from the fresh department. Not those cheap chocolates with 30% cacao in it. This time I had chosen a different variety. I saw “pistachio” on the back, so then immediately threw it in my basket. Pistachio is life. Anything with pistachio flavor is fantastic. So in my enthusiasm, I hadn’t read that they were cream bonbons. Kind of like custard with a sprinkle chocolate in it. But I thought, allright, now I’m going to look for that pistachio bonbon too. Four bonbons later I had it, and had also found diabetes. They were actually quite good. Yes, they are already finished.
I’m studying a lot, so I use the internet a lot to find extra information about certain subjects. I’m not into magazines, but I do like Quest. I was reading an article on the website, when suddenly a video played automatically at the bottom of the page caught my eye. I fell in halfway through, but all I saw was: the anal glands of the beaver. Then I thought ew, anal glands. But with that I looked away, I still saw “used for vanilla flavoring” in the next sentence. Then my life flashed before my eyes. All the cakes, cookies, desserts. Then stared into the distance for a minute to gather the courage to do research. So the anal glands of the beaver produce a sweet smell, similar to vanilla. Then you would think, okay that’s a coincidence. But no, of course we humans had to use that as well. I will switch back to fresh real vanilla. Other news headlines I read today were “naked man on tree, wearing facemask” and “penis plant attracts visitors to Hortus Botanicus”.
As you may have read, I have a new central heating boiler, which is nice, because that means warmth. It’s just that despite venting, by now it sounds like I’m living in a submarine as soon as the heater is turned on. Life full of question marks. When I think of my radiator I get about the same ‘question mark head’ as the woman at the supermarket. I am now going to support myself to make the psychology exam, please bless me.