Sometimes you have to have conversations in life that you don’t really feel like having. The only tactic I have for surviving those conversations is to keep your brains at home, nod empathically, smile and sing happy songs in your head very loud. If that doesn’t help you can look into the room for a specific color, then time goes pretty fast. I am not good at acting. If I don’t like something, my face will tell you. So I smile at some people like I have a toothache. Anyway, I survived.
I don’t miss love. Or, I don’t miss men (or the type of men on datingapps). I’ve been inactive on a dating app since early June. The heart broken men on these apps with mental illnesses that they deny themselves. At first they are Ryan Gosling from the movie The Notebook, but after a few months you suddenly find yourself sitting on the couch with Jack Nickelson from The Shining. Or the self-absorbed men who care about themselves above all else. I’m sure you’ll doubt my ability to judge men, but I’ve met more actors on tinder than I’ve ever seen in movies. No thanks, I’ll skip it for now. I feel too good to play in a bad romantic drama every time.
I feel too good to play in a bad romantic drama every time.
And I don’t know what man will suit me either. I just want a guy with humor. Caring and sweet. Not an instagram guy who uses filters to get smooth skin or withen his teeth. A regular guy, with arms, teeth (now it seems I had boyfriends without teeth and arms but they all had), a job and one of those stinky gym bags they leave their clothes in for 2 weeks. Until at some point you think there is a dead body between the walls and it turns out to be his sports bag. The kind of man who would rather step over something ten times than pick it up. That kind of man. Or men who then suddenly start trimming their hair after you’ve just vacuumed, so you walk around the house on a carpet of his hair for the rest of the day. Or one of those guys who would rather push the trash into a full trash bag than replace the bag. A man like that. Anyway, enough about men.
I’ve decided that I need to cut my hair shorter. So I have a fear of hairdressers, where others have a fear of dentists. My hair is often ruined by hairdressers, and I’ve had almost half of hairdressers in town in eight years. And many times, after they were finished, I looked in the mirror and basically nothing had changed about my hair. It was still like a flat pancake on my head. They’re not all bad, but good isn’t the right word. Once I was getting my bangs cut. They left it a little too long, so I asked them to cut it a little shorter. I looked in the mirror and saw that I had transformed into someone from the nineties. I smiled in the mirror but I wished I was dead (I know, I can be a dramaqueen sometimes). Complaining is useless, they can hardly stick my hair back on my forehead. At another hairdresser’s I wanted highlights, which ended up being red instead of blond. And then they sell it as “yes, looks good on you!”.
After I finished at my hairdresser, I went to the beautysalon. Enjoyed cycling in the sun with the happy song “Ku Tando” by Bonga. I was a little early, so I was forced to listen to the conversations between the customer and the employee. Normally this could be fun, but this customer was only talking about death. The Grim Reaper was almost standing in the doorway. After 15 minutes, I knew how all of her family members had died, and all of her acquaintances. Fortunately, I wandered off with my thoughts. When I came out of my bubble again, I heard her say, “they used to threaten us with an atomic bomb back then, and my mother lived through the war.” My colorful world had changed to a sad sepia colored world. Fortunately, there was my beautician to help me and finally my ears could listen to a pleasant conversation again.
Last weekend I auditioned for a gospel choir and I’m accepted as a member! Years ago I also sang in a gospel choir and missed it for years. Now I can finally get back to my passion of singing. Also, I’m starting volunteer work, so for the next few weeks it may be a little quieter with new articles on my website. I would like to write more, but unfortunately I suffer from lack of time (too many hobbies and passions, I can’t complain). I will do my best to provide you with a post every week. There are some fun posts coming up, so if you don’t want to miss anything, please subscribe and share my blog with people who might also like it! For the year 2022 there will also be a new category “travel”, then I will take you on a journey. I want to thank you and my followers for visiting my website, I really appreciate it.