I interact a lot on forums with people all over the world and often I read that people are lonely. They miss family, friends, people they can share their lives with. Love. Loneliness is of all ages and of all times, and if you ask me, one of the most painful and difficult things in life. There is a taboo about talking about loneliness. People are ashamed of it. And that’s why I wanted to write a post about it, hoping to reach these people with my story. It is easy to get lonely (easier than you think), but getting out is very difficult. You are not the only one. Too much people on our beautiful planet are lonely. You have to change your life – completely. But, it is possible to get out of this loneliness. Loneliness can be fought. Also for you, so don’t lose hope.
What is the reason that you became lonely? Did something happen in the past that caused you to distance yourself from people? It’s also possible that you don’t really know the cause; it’s sometimes hard to find out. It might make it a little easier to know, so you can work on it if necessary. If trust has been damaged in people around you, it might be good to seek professional help to learn to trust your fellow people again. Or if you find it difficult to maintain social contacts, a psychologist can support you in how you can improve this. If you can, try to find out how the loneliness got into your life and try to work on the cause. You do not have to do this alone, I would recommend talking to a professional about it.
Self-image and self-esteem
How do you feel about yourself? What do you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror? And where do those feelings come from? Are they positive or negative? And why do you feel what you feel? It is important to have or create self-confidence. You have to love yourself in this life. That’s step number one. Appreciate who you are. Don’t see yourself as a loser, failure or hopeless person. These thoughts are unfair and not helpful to yourself. This too is hard work, improving your self-image. But it is worth it, it will open many doors in life. Don’t let negative thoughts hold you back. For every negative thought that comes up, try to think of something positive about yourself, that you worked hard, you look beautiful today, you cooked a nice meal for yourself, cleaned up the house, etc. Be kind to yourself. No one is perfect and no one’s life is perfect. Not even the people you look up to. It is also important to work on your self-esteem, what you consider yourself worth (and not others). Your self-image is always linked to self-esteem. They can be very difficult to change because they are stuck in your patterns of living. Again, you don’t have to do it alone, a psychologist may be able to give you more personal tips and ways to work on this. Please, start loving yourself if you don’t.
Meet new people
Where do we meet new people? It’s important to start thinking about things you enjoy doing that will also bring you into contact with new people. Of course, it is very thrilling to sign up for a soccer club, or any other group of people, but it is a start to getting among people. Or go to a music festival, to a church, to a meeting place for people with similar interests in things like cars or history. Do you know some people you would like to meet up with? Give them a call and ask if you can do something together. The best thing would be if you can be open about your loneliness. “Hey, I’ve been feeling lonely lately, would you like to go do something together?”. Make it discussable with those around you. Volunteering is also a fun way through which you can get among people and give something back to society. This can also increase your self-esteem and self-image. Also try to have conversations outside the house, in the supermarket, at the greengrocer’s, on the street, at the gym. There may also be groups on social media that are trying to combat loneliness. You may find others here who also live in loneliness and be able to meet up with someone or keep in touch. Loneliness can also be felt even more strongly around the holidays than on other days. Try going out on these days, or connect with other people who are also lonely on chats or social media, for example. There are also trips for singles, also during the Christmas holidays. Step out of your comfort zone.
As I wrote, there really is something to do about loneliness, but it doesn’t happen by itself. Life is not always easy, but hard work is truly rewarded. Try to contact people around you with regularity, meet up, call or whatever. Keep the lines short. Be open about your situation, you will see that many more people are in the same situation as you. And whether you are 20 or 60 years old, it is always worthwhile to work on life. Life is short, so rather start changing life today than tomorrow.
For people who are not lonely, I would ask that you look around you. There is an awful lot of loneliness in the world, and it is unnecessary with so many people around us. Especially around the holidays it is good to do something extra for society. Visit that one friend, or stop by the neighbor who doesn’t get out much, or have a chat with a homeless person. People want and need to be seen, no one should or deserves to be invisible in our world.