It was a great week because I was hired to volunteer to mentor children and youth. Woohoo! Yes, we are already heading towards the end of the year, crazy right? Or basically nothing crazy about it, this is how it has worked for at least 28 years since I have been on this earth. I mean more like, fast has it gone huh? Anyway, end of the year also means looking at health insurance again. Since it was all a little unclear, I decided to call the health insurance company. There came one of those fantastic automatic tapes “speak your zip code with just the numbers”. So I did. “That didn’t go quite right, we’ll just try again”. Allright, so I did it again. “that didn’t go quite right, we’ll just try again”. Really? By now the spit was against my phone screen, but even then “that didn’t go quite right”. “M’Lord”. But then I was forwarded anyway, to another tape. That they were closed. Yes.
Since this week I’ve been dragging myself back onto a dating app, it’s kind of the time of year after all, cold and Christmas. It reminded me of the days when I had a few more dates. Then the evening before the date guy would ask if I had a nice evening, “yeah watching Netflix”, but meanwhile you are standing with your leg in your neck and your arm against the ceiling shaving your armpits and legs (which they don’t even see on the first date, enfin). I downloaded the dating app again only to get disappointed again, then delete it and be done with it for the next six months. And then it all starts over again. Nothing changed in the months I didn’t have a profile. Men who have to exercise 4-6 times a week and can’t eat cake and follow a keto diet. Can we please watch a good movie or series on the couch at least four times a week, and eat a lot and regret afterwards that we ate too much. To then say the familiar “ah I really need to start exercising” quote to each other? Furthermore, many pictures of sensitive men playing their guitar or sports pictures in the mirror. And some men make a kind of advent calendar until they can sleep with you. Not my cup of tea. Kill me. The input of others in some conversations is so boring that I have even introduced myself with the name Babooska. There was not even a response to that. Can you imagine?
Whether I believe in online dating? No, but there are exceptions. I’ve been single for two years and 3 months now, and you do have to do something to increase your chances. It seems like you’re in a loop. Infinite dating. Every time I started the conversation cheerfully, but halfway through you’re doing some kind of interview for The Sun. It seems like people don’t want to make an effort for each other anymore. Everything has to be perfect, everyone is looking for their own twin. You have to have the same hobbies, the same taste in music, like the same movies, think the same way. There is no such thing. After a few conversations, the other person’s tension curve has already been reached, and they start looking for new fish on their rod.
It’s also a kind of selffulliflling prophecy. If you expect to always find someone “better,” the person you are talking to at that moment will never be the one. “It will probably be nothing again”. No, with that thought it will indeed not turn into something. But if you always hold on to such thoughts (it will never work out or I will find someone better), you will find yourself being single for the rest of your life. So I always enter the conversation happy, but that’s just who I am I guess. People have the annoying trait of overthinking everything to pieces. How nice it would be to find someone who simply takes your hand and says, “yes dear we will do our best together to make something of it, to be happy and have lots of adventures”. I am waiting for him. Sooner or later he will come along.
I am also preparing for my trip to Malta. I have mainly philosophized for a long time about what to wear, because it is not so cold, but there is a chance of rain. As a Dutchie, I find that hard. In any case, I’m taking two coats, one for the rain and a nice one. I don’t feel like looking like a boy scout or Bear Grylls all days. I also have to buy other travel plugs for Malta, I have to fill out forms for the Covid restrictions. In fact, I still have to take care of everything. Towards the end of the year I am always in a kind of hurry with things, like earth is going to explode. For now, I’ll be busy studying for a while, before I’m sitting with my butt on Malta with a glass of wine in my hand. Although I am seriously considering having some wine at the airport already. Ciao darling.