Malta, men and something else with the letter M which I don’t know

I am back in the Netherlands! Okay, I’ve been back in the Netherlands for almost a month. I let you guys down, but I had no choice. I had exams, which basically means I had no free time for 3 weeks. Unfortunately, my friend had covid, which meant that I had to go in quarantine for 10 days as well. There are worse things. It was lovely in Malta, sunshine and about 18 degrees. Lots of good food and I don’t think I’ve ever had so many cocktails in one week. On the outward journey, on the boat from Malta to Gozo, we had the great idea to sit outside. We didn’t know that there was a very stormy weather on the sea. I was sitting with my back to the sea, and my friend had to throw something in the garbage can. She walked back towards me, I saw some splashes of water going towards her. “Oh look out!” I called out. Not knowing what was happening behind me. Then I received some kind of punch with a wooden board in my back. It was a wave. A very big wave. Over me. I was soaked. Fortunately, we were just on the boat, and we had to sit in wind force 10 for about 40 more minutes with my wet hair, coat, and, well whatever wasn’t soaked.

We celebrated New Years Eve in a bar with a great band and people from all over the world. After that we went to a house party of the owner of that bar, and in the early morning we went home. Malta is cosy and beautiful, but one of the most dangerous vacations ever for me. I have never fallen as much as I did in Malta. So embarrassing. There, a sidewalk suddenly turns into a staircase, where I fell into the arms of a handsome man. The best thing is just walking on hands and feet through Malta. Walking with two legs is dangerous. Although on hands and feet is also risky, because on day two I had a turd under my shoe. A fresh one. Right in the grooves of my shoe. There was no grass to clean my shoe, so I had to walk around with it for another kilometer. If you are curious about my trip to Malta you should keep an eye on my website. There will be some cool blogs about this trip soon.

It was hard to get back to normal life, after such a stress-free fun week. Normally I don’t do powernaps, but today I really needed it. And even in that one power nap you take in a year like this, people still manage to wake you up and ring the doorbell. I’ve felt like having a nice glass of wine every day for the past two weeks (sounds alcoholic, but I’m not. I know, every alcoholic says that, but I mean it), but what came closest to wine was grapes. The pathetic version of wine. The grapes I was gnawing like a squirrel in the kitchen because of the exam stress. On Saturday night.

I wrote in my New Year’s post about being on a dating app again. Some men are on dating apps because they find it interesting. The communication. Before you know it, you’re a free course in ‘communicating with women’ for them. Or you’re having a conversation with a man who has been studying wise quotes for years. “Perfection is not here today, not now, not ever”. “Women need to open up more, men need to push less”. No okay, Mahatma Gandhi, thanks for sharing your wisdom. Nice all this wisdom, but I’m looking for a nice guy, not a computer with random quotes. The hope in dating apps has already sunk to the earth’s crust within 3 weeks, so at the moment I’d rather hang out on the couch in my asexual pajamas with a wine listening to All Saints or Bruge Springsteen while imitating his voice. I’d rather go count the peanuts in a bag than swipe one more time or strike up a conversation with “what hobbies do you have?”. My hobby at the moment is counting peanuts and otherwise thinking of how miserable my love life is. Maybe I should just marry a tree.

More and more often when I’m watching women’s movies, I’m looking at myself. Women on the couch, bowl of ice cream, blankets, pillows, cat and especially the “tired of men” part. “Lidewij, almost 29 years old, eating tiramisu on the couch… has lost hope in men”. Lidewij Jones. Now it seems like I hate being single, but I actually like it.

Now that my exams are over (and passed), it was time for a new plan. My house. I want a new kitchen and I want to renovate the bathroom. And I’m going to paint the walls. I love giving things a second life. Fun to do and good for the climate. So today I had to buy some good snacks to celebrate that I passed my exams. I had to cycle in storm Corrie (code orange) and didn’t move any faster than a lazy escargot. “We ask you to stay home”, said the Dutch government. But Dutch cycle legs are strong, I made it. What are you busy with?

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