Help, almost 30, seagulls and student life

Somehow, it is the allergy days here and I am typing this with a thick nose and eyes. In case you didn’t know, I have a cat allergy, and I also have a cat. I understand your criticism of this combination. I need to buy a stick with a fake hand so I can pet Rocky from a distance. Anyway. Yesterday morning, I went to the university. On the way, I saw some young students smoking. They looked clumsy, they did not know how to hold the cigarette. Fortunately, they put the right end in their mouths. For some students that is a bit of a character they want to be, I think. A “tough” student, drinking and smoking. Maybe they think it looks interesting. Then I saw a very long row of students all with a plastic shopping bag in their hand in front of the cinema. The funny thing is that the typical students often think they are very interesting, but I always have to laugh a little when I see them. Coma drinking in a suit. Who ever thought of this combination? Maybe the suit compensates for the behaviour. The hazing must have started again as well. If you do such a terrible hazings as they have here, it shows so much insecurity and low self-esteem to me. A healthy, stable person does not allow himself to be humiliated and treated as if he is nothing. I think it is the fear of being alone and/or not belonging to a group. Why would you do it? Not to mention the alcohol consumption of many. You can see it in the mushy faces and the doubled chin. Many will drink away quite a bit of brain capacity.

A while ago I was walking to university. I felt like having a nice breakfast, a nice sandwich. I bought a nice one at the supermarket. While I was walking in the sunshine with my sandwich in complete zen modus, I suddenly felt a punch to the back of my head. A second later I saw white and one second after my sandwich was gone. Seagulls. Who has a positive word to say about seagulls? I don’t think anyone. They make noise, are cheeky and steal my food. The whole street looked at me with big eyes and started laughing. I think I was still standing for three minutes after what had just happened. Well, I continued on my way to the university. There, I spent a few hours studying in the library, amidst the loud chatter of people, which certainly improves the focus (not). Afterwards, I was distracted by the ice cream man in a van with a xylophone tune of “Mr. Sandman”. Whenever I hear him coming, I imagine Pennywise the clown sitting in the ice-cream van, eating all the students who want an ice-cream. However, I have never found evidence of this, so it is only speculation.

Last weeks it was very warm in the Netherlands, so I decided to go shopping early in the morning. On the way back I saw a baby seagull walking around, with a hanging wing. Poor thing. I immediately called the animal ambulance, this would take a while. Whether I could put a box over the seagull, to protect it. Eventually I found a box, but when I looked up I saw about seven seagulls’ heads looking at me. They also started screaming louder and louder. I could already see that I was going to be attacked. They are not exactly small either. Poor gulls all panicking. The baby gull tried to run away. In the end, I decided to wait with the baby gull instead of catching it. It finally settled down in the grass in the shade. Eventually the animal ambulance arrived, hopefully it will end well with the baby gull. Many people will disagree with me, that I am helping nature. Besides, people find seagulls irritating. Then I think, well, who has taken over the world? People have. We are much more annoying, and we do everything we can to stay alive. And so I will certainly help a baby gull with a broken wing. By the way, I don’t know if you have ever seen a baby seagull, but they are very ugly. They look a bit like balding grandpas. The eyes are a bit squinty too, which doesn’t make the looks better. I’d love to imitate it for you, but I don’t feel like posting a picture of myself imitating a baby seagull here.

Now another thing. I will be thirty years in five months. There is so much negative thinking about getting older. All those years I heard from people aged thirty+ the classic “just wait until you are thirty“, that now it almost feels like I will die in five months. As if my last months of a fun life are numbered. In five months’ time, I’ll be a big wrinkle, I will turn into a orc, can’t stay up till 12 o’clock and might as well stick the chocolate bars on my hips right away instead of eating them. I’m sorry, but wrinkles don’t just depend on age, but also on genes and lifestyle. Just like weight. That stigma has to be eliminated. Apart from the always negative stories about reaching thirty, I have to say that, for me, life is becoming more and more enjoyable. So if you are young, keep that in mind.

Probably once I reach thirty, I will be surrounded by people in their fourties who will tell me “wait until you are forty“. I won’t do it. So every ten years I can go to the funeral of my life, for no reason. Yes the body changes, yes some people gain weight, some get more wrinkles. Some become more salty or just almost depressed at the idea of turning thirty. If I had to be swayed by the negativity surrounding turning thirty, I would drink the anti aging creams, bathe in them and even bake my schnitzel in it. Wrinkles are forbidden. We must stay in tip-top shape at all costs. We must stay young, be able to party all night. The weirdest things are on the market, spanx to squeeze your curves into being a flat pancake, weird beauty treatments and the craziest diets. What are we actually doing? Is this how we, people of thirty, should change our lives? What are we doing to ourselves, but most of all, what are we telling ourselves? Who ever told us that a characteristic wrinkle is not beautiful? Do we all want to look like smooth dolls without any expression? Do we all want to look the same? Not this rebel. And I hope you won’t either.


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